[.Don't Let The Sun Catch You Crying.}

I'm here! Really!

I've just been a little m.i.a.

but, if I could really say what I am in the middle of right now, you would laugh until you died. And then you would buy me a box of wine, drill a hole in the top, and insert a straw, and this would be your thoughtful present to me. And I would not even complain if the wine was pink. THAT IS HOW FAR GONE I AM.

I'm doing awesome. Except for the blinding rage I feel towards Martin Cooper, the inventor of the cellular phone. Because without his doing, I would be able to concentrate on building this excel spreadsheet and not rereading the 5 texts I received around 1 am this morning.

How do people find my number?

Seriously, I am going to start keeping mace at my desk.

Or possibly Candies Perfume, circa 2002. It smells like vomit. Honest.

Spray a little and someone will walk up to you and ask "Hey, did you just vomit?"

Another thing...

I have decided that people don't exist unless they are standing in my direct line of vision. So that means you are a figment of my imagination, and I do not have the time to talk to myself right now.

Not having time for that, I do seem to find time to think of movies I'd like to watch again. One being City Slickers II. Really, the sequal.

Sometimes sequels do not suck. I believe that the cardinal examples used to prove this point are usually "Back to the Future II", "Jurassic Park III", because..let's be honest, Part II..as much as Jeff Goldblum rocks, the thought of a dinosaur running rampant around San Diego is outrageous. Ghostbusters II was not very good. "Jaws II-IV" were a little bad, but nowhere near the cinematic meltdown that was Jaws 3-D, in which the shark somehow obtained the ability to growl. And for some reason, these are the only two examples of sequels I can come up with right now. I am pretty sure, however, that more exist.

I would love to watch When Harry Met Sally again...arguably the funniest movie ever. It's witty, sweet, charming and philosophical all at once.

It's one of my favorites,

Harry: The first time we met, we hated each other.
Sally: No, you didn't hate me, I hated you. And the second time we met, you didn't even remember me.
Harry: I did too, I remembered you. The third time we met, we became friends.
Sally: We were friends for a long time.
Harry: And then we weren't.
Sally: And then we fell in love.

I would marry Billy Crystal. Even when he's Mike from Monster's Inc.

Hmm, what else.

Yesterday I had my first meeting with my Vocational Rehabilitation Couselor. We have a lot on our agenda, hopefully things go well as planned. He has me focusing on a career goal and journaling all of my issues with my hearing disability. It's a little time consuming.

I feel like I've been a little lost in translation lately. I apologize.

I have a few very close friends who all exchange emails on a daily basis, and they probably haven't heard from me since, like, August. Except for every once in a while, when I pop in to utter some complete insanity along the lines of, "Hey, I'm not dead, guys, and I think you all need to come over because I bought a new soap dispenser for my bathroom and it looks really good, and I think I'm going to have this guy arrested this afternoon and the mailman just brought me this really big box and I'm afraid it's got a human head in it so I've gotta go. Later!"

huh? what?

-C