[.Walk of Life.]

I lay awake some nights, with half written post swirling in my head, wishing I could muster up the energy to get out of bed and put them in writing but my long busy days win out and I fall asleep with all those well constructed sentences vanished in thin air by the time I wake up. I go about my day without a inkling of a thought about writing but yet return to the same spot each night, same thoughts, same post.

Good grieeeef...Why does a new document in Word have to be so white? And wide? And…blank? It’s very intimidating, especially when you have NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT.
So I guess it’s time for some stream-of-consciousness writing, where I simply yap on about whatever occurs to me until I’ve filled up the majority of this big blank screen. I can tell you how much I suck at life.

• I very nearly choked and died while taking a multivitamin. I started swallowing the pill before I even had my glass of juice up to my lips. Gag reflex ensued, but the vitamin got stuck in the back of my throat. Rather than take a swig of juice to dislodge it, I panicked and stood there gagging on it for a good 30 seconds.
  But in the end, I’m alive and full of nutrients.




• While blow-drying my hair, I noticed that the little lint filter thing was pretty gross looking. So I popped the dryer open and started picking out lint. After deciding this was taking entirely too long, I put the filter back in the dryer and closed it up. Only I put the filter in the opposite way, because I figured this way I couldn’t see all the gross lint. Problem solved. Until I turned the dryer on and a big cloud of lint and dust came shooting out and into my hair.




• I was dumped by my Pet Boyfriend because I totally forgot to go visit him. And I was kinda bummed about this.

I wish I had the desire to work out. Really. Why don't I, you ask? Now, is it because I’m lazy? Absolutely! But also, that I really hate it. I do. No, I hate it more than you do, because you probably DO work out. Even though YOU hate working out, you still do it anyway, right? Well, I hate it so much that I don’t. See? I win.
Want to know another reason why I suck? Somehow I have managed to completely screw up Gmail, the most user-friendly and idiot-proof email interface out there, and delete and entire label’s worth of emails. And then I went a step further and deleted them forever. Gmail users will understand how difficult this is, and have now lost all respect for my technical skills, and will probably send me t-shirts that say “LOSER” on them, or maybe "ASSCLOWN" or "I R A DUMASS".

Okay, I'm getting tired. My eyes burn and still I sit here, staring at the screen, forging on. I think Dean is really sleeping. Actually, he may have even gone to bed over an hour ago. Why am I here? Why is this happening to me? IS THIS REAL LIFE?

All right, all right, all right...I'm going to bed.

-C