[.Mmm Burgers with Extra LMAOnaise .]

The best way to revenge yourself on an animal is to eat it.

Oh come on.

Everyone knows it but they leave it to me to say it out loud!

And this is the problem with vegetarians! If a cow sasses me, I can say "Oh yeah? well guess what, wise guy? I will use your flesh for digestive energy." But vegetarians just take it! And then cows have no idea who they can get away with sassing, and let's face it they're not the smartest pickles in the fountain, so they sass EVERYONE and then I end up eating a lot of beef. It's not that big a problem.

It's so SATISFYING. You're like, "My feelings are hurt, but soon I'll be full of meat. Wow, I feel better already!!"

you're coming with me and we're going to sneak on to a farm.

Sherri, I know you're vegetarian, but you've been vegetarian since forever. You were ahead of the curve. But lately everyone ELSE is suddenly like, "Oh, Chels, I'm sorry, I don't eat roast anymore because it's just way too delicious. And gosh, no, no, steaks are out too because they don't have any stupid chlorophyll in them!"

Vegetables are good, but they are not fun. Nothing makes vegetables fun except using them as weapons (carrot swords, etc).

First off, you've got your lacto-ovo vegetarians, who don't eat meat but do eat eggs and milk. There's also lacto vegetarians and ovo vegetarians. Then you've got your vegans, who don't eat meat products or ANY animal products, so eggs, honey, milk, and cheese are out, and even leather sometimes. For - shoes. And pants?

My favorite are the freegans! Where you be vegetarian for free, you ask?

Close! It's where you don't eat meat unless you're given it for free, like from a dumpster. You prevent meat from going to waste, but you don't support its production.

That sounds close to flexitarians, who only eat meat when being vegetarian would be rude or inconvenient.

Now, I myself and a tremendomeatatarian, which means that I only eat meat which I find to be tremendously delicious!

I know you've seen me eat fruits and vegetables...

Yes. On account of the golly gosh-darned scurvy.

Hmm, I gotta go.

I'm totally craving a meat salad right now.

-C